Dear World

In four days I become a Real Adult ™. I join the world of college graduates and people who have better things to do with their lives than stay up all night writing a 10-page research paper.

Part of me is excited. A good deal of my anxiety is centered around school-mostly grades and studying. I’m hoping that I once I graduate at least some of that will be alleviated once I graduate.

My parents are urging me to take a month off in June. Basically the idea is to quit my current job (while still looking for other, career oriented jobs at the same time) and just relax for a month. They say its because they want me to focus on getting a “career” not just another retail job, but sometimes I wonder if its because they’re worried about me and want me to not stress for a little bit. To be honest, I love the idea. I hate my current job.

Part of me is terrified. I don’t know what I’m doing with my life after graduation. Some of my friends have jobs lined up or are going to grad school. I have nothing. Sometimes I wonder if this was all just a waste of time and money. I love anthropology, I do. But the world doesn’t seem to. What are my skills? What can I do? What am I doing with my life?

I was talking the big talk about going to law school eventually, but now I’m wondering if I’ll be able to or even want to do that. I went from wanting to go to law school to being okay with working retail for the next like five years.

Maybe I just don’t know who I am outside of a school setting. Maybe I’ll just fall apart without a schedule.

Who knows.

It’s a big world out there.

Maybe I’ll just send another application to Buzzfeed.

Love,

Me

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