Dear high school crush 

I unfriended you on Facebook yesterday, which was weird. I haven’t seen or talked to you in like 5 years, but it’s not like we ever talked in the first place.

On a long dead blog, I once wrote that I would love you forever. Honestly I don’t think I ever did. Sure I had a huge crush on you, but nothing more than that.

I told you I had a crush on you, and you turned me down politely. 

I turned that, and you, into a target for my weird teenage nerd to be dramatically tragic. I needed something to write bad poetry about on livejournal. I need something to cry over as Hayley Williams serenaded me. 

I’m sorry it had to be you. I can’t imagine how awkward it was for you. I don’t know how much you knew, but I was really creepy.  You’re a good guy, you didn’t deserve it. 

You weren’t the only target, honestly, I developed other, equally cringy crushes that I turned into fodder for my emo nonsense. But, looking back, you were pretty much the only one that wasn’t an asshole. 

Even if you did know how creepy and cringy I was, you never showed it. You were always nice to me. 

Thanks for that. You allowed me to break my own heart, instead of doing it yourself. I think that made it easier.

I’m doing well now. I swear I’m not like that anymore. Sometimes I read angsty fanfiction about Kylo Ren while listening to Halsey, but that’s about it. 

I know what love really is now, and I don’t feel the need to be tragic anymore. 

I’m more into “Still Into You”, “The Only Exception”, or “Proof” now, instead of “Airplanes”, “That’s What You Get”, or “My Heart”.

I wish you all the best,

Me

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